Craig and Laura’s New Job

As you may know, Laura and I have moved temporarily to Raleigh, North Carolina. We are now babysitting our new grandson, Joseph. We are his caregivers during the day, Monday through Friday while his parents work full-time. We will be doing this until late January 2024, at which time he’ll be a year old and has a place reserved in a  daycare. We are fortunate in that Noah and Meredith have a full basement apartment in their home, which is quite adequate and comfortable for us.

What have we learned, or at least recalled, after two weeks of caring for a four month old, 29 years after we last had a four month old? They are a lot of work! Joseph is a mostly happy and easy baby, but he still needs attention most of the time that he is awake. Napping is not his strong suit. It’s very difficult to get much else accomplished while watching him (It reminds me of working in the hospital when we used to say, “How are we supposed to  get anything done with all these sick people around?”).  It’s not too hard to provide all this attention 8-5 with two people trading off; the thought of a single parent doing this 24/7  is frightening.

I suppose babies haven’t changed in 29 years but there have been changes in baby-care guidelines. The most significant changes are probably the “Safe to Sleep” initiatives started in the mid-1990s.  These are a number of measures proven to quite significantly reduce the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, primarily by getting infants to sleep on their backs rather than in other positions. The American Academy of Pediatrics says:

• Place infants on their backs for sleep in their own sleep space with no other people. 
• Use a crib, bassinet, or portable play yard with a firm, flat mattress and a fitted sheet. Avoid sleep on a couch or armchair or in a seating device, like a swing or car safety seat (except while riding in the car). 
• Keep loose blankets, pillows, stuffed toys, bumpers, and other soft items out of the sleep space. 
• Breastfeed if possible, and avoid smoking.

We have adapted; it’s not hard to lay Joseph down to sleep on his back rather than on his stomach as our babies were placed. More difficult is doing without the wind-up swing to entertain or put to sleep a fussy baby.  Also no more leaving a finally-gone-to-sleep baby in a car seat or stroller after the outing is over.  Good luck with unlatching, lifting, and transferring to a crib!  Here are some new and old pictures:

In our babysitting, we also feel the lack of two formerly very helpful and seemingly fun for the baby devices.  The suspended-from-the-doorframe baby jumping harness is now discouraged; apparently it can lead to hip and neck issues. It sure was good for 10-15 minutes of baby fun and parental relief however.  Also no longer okay is the baby walker which gave non-crawlers some entertaining mobility.   The American Academy of Pediatrics says they lead not infrequently to serious accidents and should be banned.  I suppose they are right, but they sure were fun.

What hasn’t changed in childcare?  Well, we consider Joseph, as we considered our own three children, adorable. There is nothing we would rather do than share in the rhythms of his young life.  He is tons of fun and is welcome to drool on me as much as he needs to.  When I first became a father 33 years ago I was struck by how many of my patients spontaneously offered me the same advice: cherish these days with your young children (and grandchildren); they are a time of wonder that will be gone before you realize it. These are likely to be the most significant days of your life.